So Long F-N's

My Mother has asked me to remove the f-n's and f-bombs from my blogs. She thinks my mouth is too pretty to use those horrible words. With a roll of the eyes (love ya Mom), I have agreed. Even at the age of 29 I do obey my Mother. I promise from here on out to try and NOT throw out an F-N, F-Bomb or a good old fashion F-off but Mommy I cannot promise you there will not be anymore WTF's to explain exactly how I am feeling after something happens. WTF's are essential. I have WTF moments all the time and there is no other way to describe a WTF moment without WTF especially since I have become a parent. My WTF moments have increased drastically on a daily basis. For instance when Brianna decided while peeing on the potty at 2 years old that she wanted to paint her toe nails so she grabbed the Corvette red nail polish from the counter hopped up on the potty like a BIG GIRL and poured the nail polish all over her legs, feet and toilet seat! Considering it was only the second time she had successfully peed in the potty I was torn between scolding her and celebrating with the pee pee in the potty dance! WTF! Oh and there was the time that Noah decided to use the poop in his diaper as war paint on his face and decorated his crib in camouflage poop style. Had his crib been located in a sewer drain I can guarantee that the enemy would have never found his hiding place. WTF!! Oh oh, what about the time that Brianna got a hair bead jammed in her ear canal and we had to take her to the doctor to have it removed. WTF!!! There was that time that Noah wrote a story about me for Mother's Day. It was so sweet. He said I was 17 and worked at a grocery store. He went on to talk about the best meal I cooked was bologna sandwiches and complimented me by saying I was as pretty as a boy. Yeah. I am sure his teachers were kind of curious what type of mother Noah had. Apparently a 17 year old butch looking grocery store worker who could only throw together a sandwich with a meat that really should not be considered meat!! WTF!!!! So you see Mom, as I am sure you completely understand that the WTF is a way of life to me these days. I use it to explain my complete shock, confusion, misunderstanding and when I am not really sure what to do with what I have been handed. It is my way of stalling while deciding what my next move will be. I have to take a moment. I have to register my brain with what exactly has happened. The WTF running through my head is the first signal to my little brain that something not right just happened and I must intervene. It does pop up a lot in my blogs because most of my blogs seem to be about exactly those type of moments!! I never know what these children are going to dish out to me. Now if you excuse me I have to get back to my nightly routine of placing Brooke back in her bed every time she crawls out of it. I am working under strict instructions given from the Nanny 911 television show. According to Ms. Nanny 911, consistency is the darn key and if I continue to do this every time she gets up eventually Brooke will learn that she has to go to bed and stay there. I am pretty sure that Brooke has been taking tips from Brats 911 and they have taught her that if she just keeps getting up over and over again eventually Mommy will break and she will get her way. I am about three weeks into this war and I am holding strong with no plans on surrendering. I will also say that Brooke is holding strong and shows no sign of surrendering either. WTF!!!!!