Friday, August 8, 2008

Brooke 1 - Mommy 0

I had to re-post this blog. I remember writing this blog about a year and so ago. It was the first few months of Brooke's life and we were just trying to learn how to get along with each other. I struggled a lot. There is quite an age difference in my older kids and Brooke. I basically learned how to take care of a baby all over again. It was a crash course too! Someone threw me into the deep end with no life jackets. Take goodness I know how to doggie paddle!! :)



Insert flashback music here ****************************************************



Time: Sometime around Spring 2007



Intro: You see a woman curled up in a corner of her bedroom with her arms wrapped around her legs in the upright sitting fetal position. Her hair is a mess, her eyes are red and it is obvious she has had a lack of sleep. There seems to be multiple white and wet stains on her wrinkled holey t-shirt. She is rocking back and forth and quite obviously whimpering.....



"Whimpering!! Yes, I am whimpering!! Please help me. No wait, this is serious!"


"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"


"Okay, so I decide to bathe my daughter because I think hygiene is rather important and her stank butt had not been cleaned today. So anyhow. la la la!! I stuck her extra porky chunky butt (who even has fat rolls in her big toes) into the bath. I cleaned her good! I scrub every bit of that child. I put extra effort into removing dry milk, spit up and other substances from certain cracks and rolls that she seems to have. Seriously!! How does a child end up with four fat rolls a piece on her inner thighs?? Anyhow, mission accomplished....child clean and I begin removing her from the bath. We do our little mother daughter bonding talk while I wrap her adorable little chunky head in the towel and carry her into my bedroom and place her on the changing table. As soon as I sit her down on the changing table...........blah....she spits white chunky spoiled milk all down the side of her face, into her ear and down the front of her chest!! Damnit. It is okay though, I can clean this up with some wonderful baby wipes. I begin cleaning up her mess when I notice that that her towel seems extra wet below her bottom and I realize that she just peed and it ran down her bottom to her back and all over the changing table. I am cursing inside my head while I try to remove the towel from underneath my chipmunk cheeked child who is toothlessly grinning at me (she knew what she was doing). I move her over to my bed and as soon as I lay her down on my bed....still diaperless....she spits up again with white chunky milk and it goes down the other side of her face, into her ear and onto my bed!!! LOVELY! So, I grab a wipe and a diaper because at this point she is still free willy, well without the willy (She is a girl, duh!). I start applying the diaper and trying to clean the spit up at the same time and I guess her bladder was extra full today because in the process she began peeing aFREAKINGain!!! Yup...down her back, onto my bed and some on my jeans. You have to be F-N kidding me right? What the freaking dog-gone-it!!! I go to grab her and she spits up again down my shoulder!! Counting to ten, thinking happy thoughts, flowers, butterflies, I do love my child!!!!"



"So, back to the bath!! I think we both need one now. Rinse and repeat right??"



****************************************************************



WHERE ARE WE NOW?????



Well, Brooke and I have learned to get along a bit better. She still seem to run my show most days. I have successfully gotten the bathing process down and now am dealing with the fact that she seems to end up with more water outside our bathtub than inside our bathtub. Honestly I rarely have to mop my bathroom floor anymore because after she soaked it with water and soap then I come along with the towel to clean and dry I have an instant clean floor! You get two in one. Clean baby and bathroom floor! I will take two in one anything with the lack of time I have available these days!



Toodles and goodnight ya'll!

Muah!

xxOOxx

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