Friday, November 28, 2008
Mom -- "You are a big baby Brianna!!" "Stop whining"
Brianna -- "Mom, I would rather be a big baby than an adult any day."
Mom -- (Silence)...................(thinking in my head of a smart reply but I am positive the pre-teen just out whitted me.) (WTF!!!) (OMG, she is right.) (Ok, got to say something back) "GO CLEAN YOUR ROOM!!!!!"
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
My status message today read as follows:
"Catrina says A duck wearing bunny ears is still a f*cking duck no matter how bad you want the bastard to hop, he is liable to quack."
Now please read the comments that followed my status message. They are rather entertaining and by the end of the last status, you completely forget what we were chatting about in the first place.
Response # 1:
but if he does quack, will there be an echo?
Response # 2:
if he quacks in french does the echo count if you only understand english quacking??
But what if there is no one to hear the quack, will is still make a sound?
either way I guess the duck has more to do than us on a Tues afternoon
I often do not hear you guys quack but am positive that still makes you a quack so my answer is yes!!!
If it walks like a duck, and sounds like a duck...
Then it is not a bunny???
they're nice and cute and cuddly while the bunny ears are on - but we all know what's really underneath that fuzzy white disguise... feathers and a f*cking quacker. yep. i said quacker.
Can you show me your quacker please!!! :)
Hope you enjoyed! That is all I got for today!!!!! Once my brain stops hibernating than maybe HellCat's Meow can return back to its normal daily spaz-tastic posts!!
Friday, November 14, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Oh my! My Canadian Bacon unleashed her inner devil and took on the task of becoming a trick or treating professional. I mean she performed like it was her job. She took every second seriously and wasted no time between destinations. Do you see the seriousness in her look?? She figured out that if she kept her horns on and approached strange doors people would throw candy in her pumkin head bucket!! It was on and in full steam ahead mode for the rest of the evening! She never said one word to the strangers. She just waddled up the steps and held out her pumkin head bucket. What a wonderful noise that candy makes hitting the bottom of the bucket and being released into her custody! If only that candy knew the destiny it was about to take on. Num Num Num!!!! As soon as they dropped candy into her pumpkin head bucket, she was on to the next. Thank Ma'am, please give me some more!!! Wow O Wow! We headed back to the house after about an hour. She had hit the mother load of candy and was ready to indulge. Like my bacon needs more fluff to her puff! Little did she know that Big Bad Mommy was about to introduce her to the horrible communists way of rationing. She tried to rear her bacon head at me a few times. We battled hard over that pumpkin head full of candy but I did come out on top. Not sure I could survive the bacon on sugar overload!!!
Friday, October 24, 2008
This is Brooke giving me the STINK EYE after I fussed at her for this mess!!!
Brooke helping to clean up :) Thanks Babe!!!!!!
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Okay!! On another note, please go check downtowngreensboro.com for my the Latest HellCat's Meow. I did enjoy a Wine Wednesday during my down time this week. Feel free to leave comments here and THERE! Loving you all!
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Monday, October 6, 2008
As for anything else going on in my life.......hum! Apparently took her first tinkle in the baby potty without me witnessing it. She used toilet paper and everything. Not sure when this took place. I am extremely disappointed I missed this. She is 19 months old. I just placed the fake potty out a couple of weeks ago. No attempt has even been made to show her how to properly tinkle in the potty. Somehow she snuck one in on me. I only discovered it because there seemed to be a strong urine smell coming from that corner in the bathroom. I lifted the lid and sure enough there was pee and one small square of toilet paper thrown in there. I assume it happened one of the million times Brooke stripped herself naked and was running around. Brooke has also become a nudist lately. It is not always completely nude though. She really just prefers to run around topless. I figure she is practicing for her first trip to Mardi Gras. :)
Think....think...think! Noah had this weekend off from football. Starting to get anxious for another game! I ordered my shirt with my babies' name and number on it. Robertson number 88!!!! The weather is starting to cool off which is perfect for a Saturday football game. We only have four more games left. Wish I had the control over my son that the coach seems to have. Since Noah started football, he is afraid to act up at all. Not because of what awesome parents Heath and I are and how intimidating we can be. Nope. It is because he is scared shitless of his coach. Seriously explain how I birthed this child and do not have that control over him??
I am going to sit down here and watch American Gangster. Apparently this is a good movie and I am the last person on earth have NOT seen it. Pretty typical for me. I am normally the last person to have seen anything. Watching a movie takes too much time sitting still and doing absolutely nothing. That is not me. My ADHD legs and brain cannot stand it.
Toodles and Sweet Dreams
Friday, October 3, 2008
I drove my new car home last night and boy was it nice! I think I had a freaking perma grin on my face the whole ride home. Kind of looked like the joker. First thing I did when I hopped into my car was program MY radio stations. Luckily enough the radio stations were NOT playing commercials on my ride home. I did not bring any CD's. I depended on pure luck that the stations would play some rockin out in my new car worthy music. They did not let me down! I even enjoyed some American Girl by Tom Petty. Of course my booty shaking, hooker boot wearing angels were jamming with me (Note, this might make more sense if you read the post before this one)!! I took the long way home last night. Enjoying every bump in the back roads. It was nice to smoothly glide across them instead of feeling like you were in a popcorn making machine. I have to watch my heavy foot because I keep catching myself going faster then it feels like I am going. Ha Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Yup. I am a happy girl. Going to break this car in Saturday. As I mentioned us ladies are hitting up Greene Street. Quite a few of us ladies as a matter of fact. Going to enjoy some of The Plaids!! An awesome 80's cover band. I believe we are all pregaming at Kristy's house and heading out there around 11:00 PMish!! Hope to see some of you guys there. There will be lots of pictures and it will be your opportunity to have your face plastered on downtowngreensboro.com for my first official POST. :)
Ok----Gotta Work :( Booooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Love you all! Cherries on Top!!
HellCat is on the prowl this WEEKEND!
Monday, September 29, 2008
:) Have I confused you yet??? I understand it and definitely maybe you will too!!
Friday, September 26, 2008
Downtowngreensboro.com is still under way as well. Me and some of the ladies are heading out to Greene Street to see The Plaids play Saturday, October 4th. This will be the first article written on my behalf and will include lots of fun pictures of me and my crazy girls and who ever else decides to join in with the festivities. The Plaids always pull a fun energetic crowd. Should be a good time.............I mean HELL it will be a freaking awesome time.
Ok, I gotta run. This whole blogger experience has stressed me out. I think I am going to go binge eat on a bag of flowers! Yeah! Take that!!!!
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Often I do small things like tan and wear black to hide anything that I am unhappy with. You girls seriously do not think the "little black dress" came about because it was elegant? Hell no! It came about because some smart lady figured out that the "little black dress" made her looka dress size smaller. Well eventually that wears off too and then......dum....dum.....dum.......I am sitting on the couch one night typing meaningless crap to y'all and I realize I feel my arss growing. I mean I actually feel it growing as I am sitting there. I will normally ignore it for about a week until I cannot stand it anymore. I have had about three days in a row this week of the throbbing butt syndrome. I ATE three freakins chocolate cakes squares yesterday, a ten piece pack of fullmoon sushi and four packs of M&M's. That was all while at the office. That does not include the plate of pasta I devoured that night for dinner. I even drank two sodas with caffiene!!! What the hell is wrong with me? It is almost like I am rebelling against myself and personally sabotaging my Arss!! I am totally taken advantage of the gym freedom lately. Bikini season is over for a while and instead of maintaining I have been consuming everything possible to assure I have to purchase a size bigger in jeans this winter. I have been on the verge of going up a jean size for a while. I teeter totter back and forth between the five pounds which makes you one size bigger and I know that. Oh shut up men! Some of y'all's love handles could use some self-control as well. Just because you guys basically wear your butt fat around your waist and it is able to lap over the jeans does not leave you out of this conversation. Walk to the mirror and take a look. If you have a Dick-Do then I am speaking to you as well. Yeah, a Dick-Do! It is when your gut hangs out more than your Dick-Do. That's what I thought. Keep listening as well boys. I just do not want to be stuck doing the skinny jeans jig and jean stretching lunges this winter. I spent this morning flounder around like a fish out of water trying to zip and button the jeans. Next step of course as I mentioned above it the jean stretching lunge. It is where you grab onto a door jam and squat your way through the resistance of the jeans in order to use your butt fat to stretch the jeans. This can be rather painful sometimes and the end result normally leaves you without the ability to breathe and pushing the fat up out of the jeans. You guys wonder why my lips are so big?? That is the excess fat that has shot up from my butt to my lips after the jean lunges. Who needs lip plumper? Not I!!! I guess if I was really smart I would stick that excess fat in my bust for some extra PLUMP ;)~ No complaints there. I mean really. I wish I came on here one day and complained about eating my way to a D cup. I wish that every piece of chocolate cake I ate would go straight to my boobs instead of my arss. Seems like a fair trade. I can guarantee that quite a few ladies and gentlement are agreeing with that right now. Think of the savings in plastic surgery. Save $6k on a rack job and spend it on twinkies! Everyone loves twinkies! Yeah, NOPE! Guess that means the treadmill is calling. >:( There is really something I dislike about the idea of running in place. I feel like I do enough of that in my daily life anyways. Is it bad when I look at my ten year old daughter eating whatever she wants and walking around with not an inch of fat on her body and think to myself "Bitch!". Ok ok! I am kidding. Geez! Seriously. Or am I????? Anyhow, hope I do not have to pee today. Not sure I am coming out of these jeans anytime soon. Should have probably ran a catheter before I left out of the house. Ugggggggg!
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Now it has been seven years. It does not feel like seven years. I can still feel that knot in the bottom of my stomach when I think about it and replay old footage. It brings a tear to my eye instantly when I watch old reels of the actual rescues and recoveries. I think this day will never be forgotten and everyone will always remember where they were on 9/11/01.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
This is Catrina with a C signing off!
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Monday, September 8, 2008
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
I have been asked to start writing on downtowngreensboro.com and I am super freaking stoked. OK, slow down.....do not go clicking away. The site is down for maintenance right now. Something about upgrading to a bigger server to allow for more traffic volume. Hope Matt and Robin do not shoot me for spilling the beans already but everyone knows I cannot keep secrets! Well, everybody except those who keep telling me their secrets. ;) Kidding! I have kept all ya'll's secrets (how in the heck do you make the word y'all possessive??)!! No fingers cross - I promise!! So, back to me and what I was saying. I will be assisting in writing blogs and reviews for the DT G'boro area. This will mean some little fun outings for me and my ladies and of course getting all dolled up and enjoying some of the local venues and reporting back to everyone. The DT G'boro area has really been blowing up lately and I am happy to get to take part in capturing that. I am sure this will involve plenty of pictures of us locals enjoying ourselves. You know how me and the girls love our cameras!! NOW - of course I will super link you guys from here so you can keep up with the HellCat's latest Meow!!
OK, OK....I know you are jumping around like screaming school girls too! You can stop now. Now! Seriously STOP it Mr. Gene and Dougy. Indian style kids and listen up. In the next few weeks my blog will be moving to it's very own home. I have enjoyed my stay at blogger.com but I am ready to upgrade! :) Hopefully, fingers crossed people! Fingers, toes and elbows actually. I am pretty sure the domain name will be Hellcatsmeow.com :) This will allow me more options in designing my page and probably make it easier for you guys to navigate. All in all, I need more freedom. Typical of me huh? I am sure the page will go through some construction phases. I apologize if you experience any technical crap going wrong during that time. Suck it up. We will make it through this together! OK, lets skip on over to my last happy topic of the night.
Well, you guys may have noticed I enjoy writing. I have a tendency to blab on and on in my blogs. Most of the time what I talk about is off the wall and a bit improper but I love it. I seem to lack structure in my writing and I am sure there is lots for me to learn. I have always been told I should think before I speak.....and as you can tell, I never listened!! Writing is something I fell back into accidentally over this last year. I started by ranting spontaneously on myspace to relieve stress. Over this summer, I began writing more frequently and it became something I looked forward to every evening. That is what prompted me to branch out from myspace blogging and give it a go by driving my own traffic and hoping for some of my buddies to send some referrals my way. Honestly, I am rather surprised to see the numbers my page has generated in a month's time and some of the feedback I have received from y'all about my blogs. I am looking to possibly go further with my writing. As a matter of fact, not so much possibly but positively. I would really appreciate the constant referrals of others to my blog page and the feedback in the comment section. Come on.....none of my friends are shy and I have been waiting for you guys to start chirping me. I also check my guestbook located to the left regularly (it is on the left right???) and try to respond to any one's posts. So please continue posting!!
I wanted to say thank you to some of the kicks in the arss I have received lately from Mom, Dougy, Mr. Gene and Ms. Cindy Lou Hoo! Your opinions, constant reading and constructive criticisms are continuously appreciated. Thank you for allowing me to bounce things off your creative brain walls!
Ok Ladies and Penis Heads -- I am off to sleep. Sweet Dreams!
Monday, September 1, 2008
Just when I thought we had both throw up our white flags and agreed to disagree with the Bed Battle of July and August of 2008, I was given a rude awaken early Saturday morning. A new battle had been brewing. This one eventually got dirty and suffered a few causalities of war before Lt. Mommy figured out how to force a surrender on Brooke and her stuff buddy army. Things were so quiet for the last few weeks and I should have known better. After the first battled described below I performed some severe torturing of her stuff animals, one of her dogs named Blue cracked. He did not want me to cut off his left ear so he gave me some pretty important information. Needless to say he was too badly wounded from the battle on Sunday which I will get to shortly to even survive through the end of Sunday. He unfortunately took his final resting place at the bottom of the OUTSIDE trash can. Poor buddy!! Anyhow, according to Blue the dog, apparently when I would tuck Brooke and her choice of twelve stuff animals into her pack-n-play they would stay up scheming and drawing a game plan on how to get Mommy and get Mommy GOOD!!
Day 1 - Saturday AM - Operation Be Nakey set into action
It is early AM on Saturday. I hear Brooke's usual "Mommmmm" from her bedroom. I admit that I ignored it for about thirty extra minutes by placing the pillow over my head. I have maintained use of the pack-n-play for the remainder of the month. I have really loved the option of confinement when needed and especially at bedtime. So, I roll out of bed maybe a little later than she wanted me to. GIVE ME A BREAK PEOPLE! It is Saturday AM. I was pouting a bit because I do not want to be up before 8am! It is not FAIR! Anyhow, Brooke's door was halfway closed so I open the door a tad more and walked in to say my usual Good Morning Sunshine and there she was standing in all her glory with her sunshine SHINING bright! What the??? Are you?? Where is your?? Ugggg! Put your Hoo Hoo away! Yuppers! She learned how to remove her diaper this morning. Lovely. She had throw it off to the side like a rebellious little flower girl refusing to wear clothes. To make matters even lovely-ierrrrrr, she had to cop a squat right in the middle of her pack-n-play on Bugsy the Bunny, Pinky the Atheist Non-Praying Lamb, and all her freaking blankets. Including the adorable yellow knitted blanket from her little ole Great Grandma Fels. Wow. Yeah. I was happy. Real darn happy to run a bath first thing that morning and remove the urine soaked baby, stuff buddies, sheets and blankets. My Saturday AM was starting off to be awesome and I have my little pisser to thank for it. Thanks Brooke-a-Bella. You make Mommy Proud!!!
DAY 2 - SUNDAY AM - Operation Nakey gets dirty
Okay, so I am not sure why in my head I felt like this was an isolated action even after being forewarned by Blue. I just believed deep down that Brooke would never do that again. She did not get her diaper off on purpose! Seriously y'all. I mean one of the velcro latches obviously got stuck to her knitted yellow blanket and when she rolled over it came undone. Brooke is a sweet girl and would never try to cause her Mommy to have such an unpleasant Saturday morning on purpose, hmmmmm or would she? Sunday AM came too quickly. Thank goodness this was a holiday weekend because I definitely needed an extra day to recover from what I was about to walk into. I rolled out of bed and started walking into Brooke's room swinging the door open. Yup my usual - Good Morning Sunshhhhhh, Oh MY Gawd! No. No!!! Noooooooo? Really? Seriously? You had to do that?? This morning? What were you thinking? Oh my gawd! You are cleaning that up. I do not care if you are only 18 months old! That is just plain freaking sick! You did not eat it did you? Did you eat it? Please tell me you did not eat it? Oh! Ew! Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhd! It smells like, well you know what it smells like in here! You should know. You produced it. Lovely, all in your freaking hair. Oh! Oh! Wow! Awesome! Love it! Absofuckinglutely love it!!!!
So, if you have not figured out by now. My child again removed her diaper and threw it off to the side but this time instead of coping a squat she popped a poop!! Uh huh! Not only did she POP a FREAKING POOP but she used it as an exfoliater for her skin and cream rinse for her hair.
Oh nooo! Unfortunately this is where I see poor poor Blue laid off the the side of her pack n play face down. Apparently Brooke had found out about him giving up important information to me a day earlier. This did not go over well with Brooke. I cannot really tell what happened to him but my guess is suffocation by poop! His face was covered and there were little toddler poop hand print stains around his neck. He never had a chance against her!!
Counting to ten, no fifty, no a million!!!!! Can I just leave her in there and walk back out? I can just pretend like I never saw it! I cannot leave her in there?? Can I?? Trust me I considered it. I could freaking toss her a juice cup and throw cheerios at her all day to maintain her hunger. Yeah, I think allowing a child to play in poop is considered neglect, right? Yeah, probably. Damn it. So I walked over to her and lifted her out from her pack-n-play. I keep my arms extended from my body not allowing her to touch any part of me. Apparently my daughter was given monkey like abilities and she is swinging her body towards mine trying to wrap her legs around me. Please no! No! Stop! Don't TOUCH ME!!! I went running towards the bathroom with my head turned to the right and my nose squashed up trying to avoid that horrible nasty yucky poop smell which my daughter is drenched in. Oh! Oh! I almost seriously slung the kid into the bathtub. So, another bath first thing in the morning. I would have taken urine over poop any day. I removed all the blankets off the bed and threw them into the wash. I said a few sweet words for Blue and tossed him into the garbage can. Poor Poor little buddy. R.I.P. - "You're my boy Blue!!" Back to her sweet smelling bedroom to disinfect everything! This is just plan nasty! Gross! This is not right!!! No one should ever have to clean up anyone else's butt waste. I did not sign up for this. Please show me where on her birth certificate that it said I had to endure this and take it with a smile?
So, I think we are good now. I think Brooke has gotten me back. She has proved she can "one up" Mommy or should I say "TWO up" as in have to go number TWO! Right??? Okay, bad joke. I think the fumes from her room have gotten to me some.
SUNDAY NOON - NAP TIME - Operation Nakey and Escape!
I was happy when nap time came around Sunday. I honestly think I earned the break. Brooke on the other hand was not so happy. She was throwing a fit before I could even get her into her room. This day I did not care. Normally I try to talk to her and soothe her some. Eh, NO! Seriously she is lucky that I agreed to feed her breakfast and lunch after what she did to me that morning. Needless to say, I did not give her a fruit roll up snack after lunch. Hey! A girl has to have some leverage. Anyhow, I laid her down and left the room. She screamed all holy hell from the bedroom. Sounded like someone was murdering her. So I got up and closed her bedroom door. Can you tell I have lost sensitivity at this point? I sat back down on my bed and could still hear her plain as day! So I got back up closed my bedroom door. Now scream! Scream all you want you evil booger! It got quiet eventually. It was nice. Finally, until I heard THUMP - crash - BOOM - THUD! Uh, that was not normal. What is she doing in her pack-n-play! I run towards her bedroom and sling open the door! All I see is naked baby butt making a mad dash for under the bunk bed. She escaped! Sound the alarms. What the!!!!??? Again, off with the diaper! What does she have against the diaper? I mean she has been wearing them for 18 months. I wish I could run around naked too but I cannot. We must cover the HOO HOO! Everyone knows this. The Hoo Hoo is not for everyone to see BROOKE! I am tugging on her cheesy chunky legs as she is trying with all her might to get scurry under the bunk bed! I finally recovered her.
How in the hell did she get loose? I looked back into her pack-n-play to figure out how it was she had managed to escape. I mean she had never even suggested before that she could climb over. She had taken her comforter and folded it into a ball and then placed her pillow on top of it. She also had Slim Jim the bear on top of the pillow. She had built a wall to escape. Lovely! What am I going to do???
Luckily this time there were no bodily fluids left behind in the bed or on any of her stuffed buddies! I decided I needed to call in re-enforcements and contact someone wiser than me. Someone who has lived through many of these battles herself. Mothering and surviving the tortures of FOUR, yes FOUR children! She has to know what I can do. I grabbed the cell phone. Search for my Mom's name in my contact list because we all know no one knows any one's phone number by heart these days!! Please be home, please be home! Thank goodness good ole Mom suggested the usage of onesie's again! Yup. The wonderful ability to snap those buttons between her legs! Lets see you remove that diaper now buddy! I downgraded the amount of stuff buddies she is allowed to sleep with and placed a smaller pillow and comforter in her bed. I am hoping this will keep from any further escape routes to be built.
DAY 3 - MONDAY AM - Mommy Squashes Operation Nakey
I was a bit concerned about getting up this morning. I mean really could it get any worse? I am happy to say that Brooke did not manage to break out of the pack-n-play and she was NOT naked when I got to her this morning. Thank goodness! Keep praying for me people. :)
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Anyhow, back to what I was saying. At the end of that blog I mentioned the inability to manuever a nasty public restroom and the difficulties woman face. I made a suggetion for possibly using a portable attachable penis so that the ladies can enjoy the freedom of peeing while standing up as well. It would probably shorten the bathroom lines, cut out the toilet paper usage and may even reduce the amount of pit stops we have to make on the road if we have the ability to hang our UNIT outside the car window while in motion. Well little did I know that someone was already one step ahead of my thinking. A buddy of mine forwarded me a link to a YouTube video where some ladies have already invented such a contraption. Now I think this is an early model and can use some refining and of course some decorating and color but it is definitely on the right path. Check out this video and reconsider your vote on the poll above. We could be on to something. New Age. Not only can men drop trouser while camping and claim stake on a tree but we can walk up behind them and claim the same tree !!!!
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Sooooo my Sunday, Monday and Tuesday were not a lot of fun. Today was my mental recovery day as well as physical recovery. I am still having flashbacks of not just the physical pain from this week but the mental stupidity I got to discover in our local hospital which just basically arss raped my insurance company and me out of a bunch of moooo-lah to make a diagnosis that could have almost been written on my stomach and they would have missed.
All in all.....it has been an okay week. :) What about y'all? Anything new?
Sunday, August 24, 2008
We left late yesterday afternoon to come home. We definitely considered another night but I think we were both ready to be home and sleep in our beds. I was kind of missing my numerous battles with Brooke. Figures huh? It was quite nice little drive home. I love curvy roads through the mountains. The only thing that was not so lovely on this trip home was the Sheetz bathroom I had to try and conquer just to take a tinkle. Uh yeah. I could not even explain the smell of that bathroom. It was the type of bathroom you walk into and you are holding yourself because you are scared if any of your body happens to touch anything in that bathroom that it will turn green and rot off. I finally made it to one stall that was not ran over with human waste and assumed the position of the leg squat position over the toilet as to not DARE allow my hiney contact with that nasty germ infested white rotting bowl! This was the only time in my life that I have experience PENIS envy. Oh how nice it would be to be able to stand and piss at that moment. I mean really boys you have no clue how good you have it! Between being able to write your name or whatever you want in the snow with that thing to never having to come in contact with a nasty, NASTY toilet bowl at some rest step is almost all the selling points you need on those things. Some genius should come up with a portable version of them for woman. Something attachable. I can see the marketable selling line now "Never Squat again - Just snap on and enjoy a germ free pee" Of course for us ladies they would have to come in different colors and styles to match our purse and shoes. I am sure they would even start making different sizes too. This would probably be the only new product on the market where size does matter and compact is not an option. Ok, whoa! I went way off track here. Geez my little brain seems to jump tracks a lot.
I am done now. I cannot say sweet dreams this time. It is lunch time! So happy Sunday everyone.