My PostSecret

I am sitting here trying to come up with some funny story or event that has happened in the last few days. I am sure I have a few and if I really tried hard enough I could turn a story about clipping my toe nails into some devastatingly funny freak show event! Honestly that is what my days are made up of. Things that happen to ordinary people but for some reason in my cartoonic creative little brain it seems to be elevated and out comes a blog. I never really write about my personal life. I mean I do, but it never involves any extreme personal feelings that I have. I am a bit mad at myself this weekend which has lead to my mood and lack of funny trailing out my finger tips onto this post. I allowed myself once again to let this same individual get the best of me. I depended on him as I know better than to do and of course came up short. I am pretty angry with the situation. He has shown me over and over again in about six years that me nor our daughter can depend on him. I use to get mad at him when he did not follow through but these days I get mad at myself. I know better and there is nothing more I can say about it. I feel like I should be wearing a dunce hat and placed in a corner of a room. I should write on a paper a hundred times "Catrina Anne, you know better than that!!" and post it up around my room. I cannot get mad at him for me constantly letting him not follow through. I can only be angry at myself for letting him do it to me. I figured if I post this feeling on here where everyone can read what a dumbie I can be sometimes then maybe it will make it reality to me. Needless to say I paid a visit to PostSecret which helped remind me that it is okay to be stupid and make mistakes. It is okay to let people know you have been stupid and made a mistake. Perfection is NOT realistic. Perfection is in the same category as forever. No one has ever been perfect and no one has ever lived long enough to feel forever. If you have not checked out PostSecret web page or books before than I highly recommend you do. If you do not know what PostSecret is than I would like to lift the rock you are living under so you can see some of the light. I have hyper linked the page for you twice already. After you are done listening to my blah rant than you are demanded to hop over to PostSecret. See I linked it again! It is a place where people mail in their most personal and sometimes silliest secrets on a postcard weekly and they are posted online for others to read. It is completely anonymous. Not sure why I have gotten so addicted to it but I find myself checking for the new secrets weekly. Reading other people's secrets makes it seem okay to admit to your own. It makes it okay for me to admit out loud that anything he does to me from now on is my fault because I allow it to bother me. I promise this will not be a consistent mood involved in my blogs but sometimes I am human and sometimes I have emotions like a human. Unfortunately writing is linked to your emotions and today they are not very happy. I promise I will cheer up in a few hours and come back in for something a bit funnier!

Love ya
xxOOxx