Lord Help Me

Explanation to follow:

This is Brooke giving me the STINK EYE after I fussed at her for this mess!!!

Brooke helping to clean up :) Thanks Babe!!!!!!

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I miss you guys too!! Thanks for poking me until I got off my boo(tay) and blogged! This week has been crazy. It is the last week in two of my classes and I had a paper due in each. It is a major part of my grade so I was a bit stressed about it. Brooke also got her first stomach bug. Ahhhhh, the joys of a toddler spewing kool-aid out their nose and mouth while you hold them in your lap. Grape kool-aid! I wore it well and so did the whole couch. That went on for most of the day earlier this week. By the end of the day, I had been through a few loads of laundry between her clothes, my clothes, the cover for the cushions of the couch, a few blankets and towels. I tried to run her to the bathroom a couple times. Poor baby. Mommy is jerking her up and making a mad dash to the potty and trying to shove her poor head over it while she is uncontrollably projectile puking. Wow! It amazes me the distance a toddler can get with their puke! Thank goodness this is not my first child because it looked like a scene right out of Exorcist. Pretty positive that my oldest still holds the record for chucking across the room. If you look in the Guinness Book of World Record, you will see her picture! Uhhhhgggg! Ha ha!

Think....think....think! What else?? O! Brooke has a new obsession with diapering every doll, stuff animal, remote control or item that she can fit into a diaper. Needless to say whenever I run out of diapers, I snatch one from her baby doll. I woke up the other morning to Brooke moving my foot in the bed. I peeked down the bed and she was picking my foot up and laying it into a diaper. She nicely secured it with the straps and Wa----lah!!! My foot was wearing the Huggies brand diaper. I must admit. They are quite comfortable. Allows for plenty of moving without bunching of the diaper! Hee Heeee! Gotta love kids! That was a first in my life. Actually Brooke has had quite a bit of fun tormenting me this week. First the flying puke and THEN she decided to take a whole box of Frosted Mini Wheats (my fav) and attempt to fill her bowl! Ha! I caught this one with the camera. It is one of those throw yours hands up in the air moments. I mean I figured why not enjoy the moment right?? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Really?? Wow. Guess what?? Brooke just walked out with pink lipstick smashed in her hair and all over her face. Give me a second and I will entertain with these pictures too! Yay me! This one is going to be fun to clean out of her hair!!!

Noah's got a football game tomorrow in Lexington. I am pretty pumped up! Got my Mom shirt with my babies' number and last name on the back! Yeah! Rawrrrrrrrrrrrrr! They are calling for rain tomorrow.....boooooooooo Mother Nature!!! Lets hope the local weather man is wrong.

Ok....well my Friday night's dilemma is trying to figure out which Pizza special to order. I DO NOT cook on Fridays, um or Saturdays and Sundayssssssss, also Mondays!!! Ok kidding. I do cook sometimes. :) I am not Betty Crocker but Betty Rocker!!! I am too cute for my kitchen.

Love ya!!!

xxOOxx

Unwanted Freedom

Ahhhh! It is Friday. That always makes me smile. No real complaints this week. I had a bit of a vacation from Momsville this week. My baby went out to visit her MawMaw and my older two were with Daddy. I almost did not know what to do with myself. How exactly did I use to exist when the only person I had to worry about was myself?? No freaking clue. I found myself walking in circles around myself. Isn't someone suppose to be yelling "Mommmmmm!" frantically so I can save the day?? My laundry is not piling up. My floor does not have baby cracker crumbs. No one has bloodied anyone's nose. Oh poo! No really, no poo. No Poo diapers to clean. What to do....what to do??? Okay, I feel like I am being punked. Someone is going to jump out any minute now and have my darling three gems standing beside them. "Surprise Mommy!!" Nope never happened. I was living the pre-married/divorced and three kids era. It baffled me. I had no clue how to manage my newly found time. I considered selling my extra time on e-bay. Hell! Why not make a buck or five?? Others have sold their body for advertising on e-bay. Oh well. Just as I finally got a little use to not being needed, wanted and demanded, the silence ended and they came home! Ahhh........chaos again. I love it. I have to have it. I think I prefer it. My crazy children are back! Please do not leave Mommy again. Wow!

Okay!! On another note, please go check downtowngreensboro.com for my the Latest HellCat's Meow. I did enjoy a Wine Wednesday during my down time this week. Feel free to leave comments here and THERE! Loving you all!

KY Jelly for my biscuit please!!

Thanks KY for giving me another hard to explain this to my children moment! Yeah! Another Mom babbling her way through "Mommy, what's that?" question!! Seriously. You have to advertise KY Jelly on TV during hours that my children can watch the commercial?? Not only that but you have to make the commercials so appealing that you almost made my children want to buy your product and start asking me for it. Guess KY has recently launched a new campaign to draw attention to their HIS and HER version of KY Jelly. They have advertised the fluck out of it lately. Yup, you guessed it. The commercial comes on during Brianna and Noah sitting on the couch. It was a butt puckering moment for sure. I never came up with a good response to their curiosity of what made the man and women sing opera from the bed. "What is KY Mom?" Uhhh!! "Is that the Jelly you put on your biscuit?" Ahhhhh!!! "Why are they eating in bed?" Some things I think are best not advertised. Come on now! I am having a hard enough time tap dancing around the birds and bees. I was smacked in the face last year with Noah demanding an explanation of "what is gay?" Do not forget Brianna's "Mom, no really. How exactly is that baby going to get out of your belly?" My children have a special talent of making Mom speechless. Almost an impossible task but they have freaking mastered it! What is appropriate to respond? I cannot keep using the phrase "it is a grown up thing." Not sure that one is going to keep flying me into their teenage years. Eow!

Looney Tooney

I am not sure if my Canadian Bacon's behavior lately has been a pay back of sorts. You know, the what goes around comes around moment. The thing your parents tell you that you will get in triple fold one day but it really does seem like it. All of a sudden my child has become possessed with evil. Has the ability to throw fits that you can literally see the steam coming out of her ears, her eyes turn fire red and her head begin to slowly spin around. Often it is unwarranted and sometimes without reasoning. She screams for something, I give it to her and she throws it at me. Of course she is still screaming at me. She wants to take a bath. I put her in the bath and she decides she does NOT want to take a bath two seconds into it. She will then start throwing the shampoo and conditioner bottles at me. Yeah, like she is seriously trying to physically harm me. What have I done to this kid? So of course, I quickly and gently JERK her out of the bath. Then she starts spazing out like she is having seizures and screaming to the top of her lungs!!! Do not forget about those freaking ham hog legs which she is slinging at me full force. Do you know how hard it is to grab a hold of a raging slippery wet toddler? What the hell is going on? I think we are getting close to the terrible two's which is a complete understatement of her current temper tantrums. I mean I realize that her gene pool consists of me, a hot headed - southern raised and F-Bomb throwing chic and her father, a huge Canadian professional hockey player who enjoyed slamming his fists into peoples' heads for a living but COME ON NOW. That does not mean that our DNA combined should create a miniature Tasmanian DEVIL. A nudist loving Tasmanian devil at that. Not only does she throw unexplainable irate fits but lots of time it is in the nude. I cannot keep her clothes on her anymore. She is constantly ripping of her shirt, pants and diaper off to run freely around the house. She gets highly frustrated at things when she cannot open them or cannot figure out how to make them work. The other day, she was trying to put a diaper on her baby doll. She apparently was having some issues figuring out how to velcro the sides together. All of sudden she picked up the baby and put it in a full nelson!! She then slung the poor battered baby across the room. She was screaming in baby jibber language this whole time. Pretty sure some of it should have been bleeped out by the language censoring people. She went freaking loony on me!! Oddly enough all of a sudden the fit stopped and she looked at me and smiled. Kind of scary. Kind of makes me sleep with one open at night. Really, I am a bit afraid of this kid. I do not remember this with my other two. What is going on!!!?? Someone please help me. Right now as we speak, she is throwing a huge fit over not being able to put her shoes on. She has knocked over the chair and slung one shoe into the kitchen. Wow. This kid has some anger issues. If anyone needs me, I will be hiding in the closet. I think that is the safest place for me right now. Worried she might decide to body slam me next. We do not call her the Canadian Bacon for nothing.

Tiptoeing away!!!

** Update **

Well I officially made my first blog article entry on downtowngreensboro.com. Yay! I went out Saturday night to Greene Street with the ladies to see The Plaids play. We had a good time representing downtowngreensboro.com and enjoying the sounds of The Plaids. Swing on by there to if you are interested in HellCat's Latest Meow.

As for anything else going on in my life.......hum! Apparently took her first tinkle in the baby potty without me witnessing it. She used toilet paper and everything. Not sure when this took place. I am extremely disappointed I missed this. She is 19 months old. I just placed the fake potty out a couple of weeks ago. No attempt has even been made to show her how to properly tinkle in the potty. Somehow she snuck one in on me. I only discovered it because there seemed to be a strong urine smell coming from that corner in the bathroom. I lifted the lid and sure enough there was pee and one small square of toilet paper thrown in there. I assume it happened one of the million times Brooke stripped herself naked and was running around. Brooke has also become a nudist lately. It is not always completely nude though. She really just prefers to run around topless. I figure she is practicing for her first trip to Mardi Gras. :)

Think....think...think! Noah had this weekend off from football. Starting to get anxious for another game! I ordered my shirt with my babies' name and number on it. Robertson number 88!!!! The weather is starting to cool off which is perfect for a Saturday football game. We only have four more games left. Wish I had the control over my son that the coach seems to have. Since Noah started football, he is afraid to act up at all. Not because of what awesome parents Heath and I are and how intimidating we can be. Nope. It is because he is scared shitless of his coach. Seriously explain how I birthed this child and do not have that control over him??

I am going to sit down here and watch American Gangster. Apparently this is a good movie and I am the last person on earth have NOT seen it. Pretty typical for me. I am normally the last person to have seen anything. Watching a movie takes too much time sitting still and doing absolutely nothing. That is not me. My ADHD legs and brain cannot stand it.

Toodles and Sweet Dreams
xxOOxx

All Squishy Inside

So......... : ) : ) :)

I drove my new car home last night and boy was it nice! I think I had a freaking perma grin on my face the whole ride home. Kind of looked like the joker. First thing I did when I hopped into my car was program MY radio stations. Luckily enough the radio stations were NOT playing commercials on my ride home. I did not bring any CD's. I depended on pure luck that the stations would play some rockin out in my new car worthy music. They did not let me down! I even enjoyed some American Girl by Tom Petty. Of course my booty shaking, hooker boot wearing angels were jamming with me (Note, this might make more sense if you read the post before this one)!! I took the long way home last night. Enjoying every bump in the back roads. It was nice to smoothly glide across them instead of feeling like you were in a popcorn making machine. I have to watch my heavy foot because I keep catching myself going faster then it feels like I am going. Ha Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Yup. I am a happy girl. Going to break this car in Saturday. As I mentioned us ladies are hitting up Greene Street. Quite a few of us ladies as a matter of fact. Going to enjoy some of The Plaids!! An awesome 80's cover band. I believe we are all pregaming at Kristy's house and heading out there around 11:00 PMish!! Hope to see some of you guys there. There will be lots of pictures and it will be your opportunity to have your face plastered on downtowngreensboro.com for my first official POST. :)

Ok----Gotta Work :( Booooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!

Giggle Boxxxx

I am a giggle box this evening. I got a new toy. A hardly earned and way over due new toy. I do not officially get to pick my new toy up until tomorrow. I am like a little kid waiting on Santa Claus. I cannot sleep! I have been watching the clock and I promise that somehow thirty seconds has been added to every minute. Every time I think about me driving my new toy off the lot tomorrow, I get this big ole grin on my face. I even have background theme music playing in my head as I visualize my moment of accomplishment. OK, so my toy is not exactly a new toy but more like someone else's older toy which is now mine! All mine!! I am going to be the proud Mommy or should I say Hot Mamasita to my very own Lexus RX300. This is where you envision the car and me in the passenger seat. Looking hot and applying my lipstick. Pink Diamond by Motives of course!! All of a sudden the sky opens up from above and this light shines down brightly on my new car........of course next you hear the angels singing loudly and dropping it like its hot in their red stilettos. Hush! This is my vision. Did I mention I am sporting new shades that are essential when driving your car around with that blinding light shining down from the heavens above. Do not want to accidentally get blinded and run over one of those sweet little booty shaking angels who are singing my background theme music. I have already thought up a few different CD's I want to burn to de-virginize my 6 disc changer. Probably going to try and slip that into my already really busy day tomorrow so I can have them ready to jam out to during my first official ride!!! Squeeeeeeeeeeeee!! :) Oh boy, oh boy! :)3 Not to mention us girls are going to break the car in Saturday for Girl's Night Out. I have not been out with the ladies in over a month. I am doing my first feature on DowntownGreensboro.com of The Plaids who are playing this Saturday at Greene Street in Greensboro. Time to Doll Up and Rock out for sure!! I promise lots of pictures and a link to my first official post. Now I am just waiting to hear back about one more potential life rocking possible career change and then this week will totally be complete. I have been walking around all night with my toes crossed. Hard task to accomplish but I think I can keep it up. Just gonna have to trot around in open toes tomorrow to make room for my crossed over piggies!! You guys cross your fingers and piggies as well. Anyhow, just wanted to remind you that there is that wonderful guestbook located to the left. I love it when you guys leave messages in there! Also there is a reason that each post has a comment link under it. They are not just there for looks. Give it a go. Click on one and well, um, leave a spunking comment people!!!

Love you all! Cherries on Top!!
HellCat is on the prowl this WEEKEND!