The only words that can properly be used to describe the story below would be “only me!”
So, the Canadian Bacon was a bit excited about a package with her Christmas presents that arrived from her Auntie Tara out in Vancouver, BC. I already knew the contents of the box. The smallest package contained an adorable princess book which had puzzle pieces to it. Simple and harmless enough you would think.
I know it is not Christmas but I thought I would allow Bacon to open that one gift. It was all fun and games in the beginning. We went through every page reading the story and then taking apart and putting back together the puzzle with the story. Somehow during this fun and adorable mother/daughter bonding, a poor lonely puzzle piece slides between the wall and lands underneath the bed. “Oh toe!!!” shouts the Bacon. Piece of cake I was thinking. I can get that from behind the bed. The search is on now. I am glaring between the thin slit between my bed and the wall. Nothing. Ugh. I realize that I must actually get off my butt and climb down beside the bed and look to see if the piece had fallen further into the dust bunny land under the bed. Yup! Sure had. Just out of the reach of my arm. Well honestly, since I have a California King size bed, it was just out of the reach of two of my arm lengths. Ahhhhh ha! I see a clothes hanger. I start using the hanger to poke and jab at the puzzle piece to try and get that stubborn prissy pink piece ,which happened to be Cinderella’s head, to roll my way. Yeah, no such luck. Really, how difficult can this be? The whole time the Canadian Bacon is in the background still gasping “oh toe, oh toe Mommy.” If I could just get a few more inches closers to that piece than I am sure I could hook it with the hanger. I was slowly inching my body under the bed. It was a very tight squeeze but I sucked in my ribs and managed to get half my body under the bed and knocked the puzzle piece clear out from under the bed. The Bacon recovered it on the other side of the bed. I could see her chunky toes wiggling back and forth with excitement that she now could assemble Cinderalla’s head back to the puzzle. I was a bit relieved it was over too……..um, well, kind of because all at once I realized I could not move. I was seriously stuck. Somehow I had wedged myself so far up under the bed that I could not get out. The only thing sticking out from under the bed were my orange capri sweatpants. Think, think, think. There is no way I am stuck under this bed. The Bacon has now noticed that it is taking Mommy way too long to come out and she walks over to my side of the bed and lifts the skirting of the bed and says “you stuck Mommy?” “Well yes, baby, Mommy is stuck.” I replied. Her mouth opens wide and she exclaims with both hands on her face “oh toe, Mommy stuck!” I was hoping my sister was still in the house and had not went to work yet. I sent the Bacon searching for her “Ash-wee. Oh toe! Mommy stuck. Bed got Mommy stuck!” I did not hear any answer from Ashley. This situation seems to be getting worse. The Bacon got to thinking before I did and slid my cell phone up under the bed to me. I started making phone calls. The first of course was to Ashley to explain my dilemma who I think through the snorting and laughing said she was on her way over. The other was to my Mother because if anyone else should get to witness this, it would be her and then I start receiving phone calls while laying under the bed and since I had nothing better to do than start naming the dust bunnies, I figured what the hay, why not answer them. My favorite part of these conversations was when you say “hello” and they respond with “hey, whatcha doing?” I am pretty sure I did my part in giving giggles to some of my friends. Odd to me is that every single one of them would say, are you sure you are stuck? Um, hell yeah! I cannot move. I am not voluntarily showing up for a dust bunnies Girl Scout meeting under my own bed. All this time, the Bacon is jumping on the bed on top of me and having fun landing on my butt. This is when I realize that I probably should not have guzzled that soda earlier. My rib cages were beginning to get real sore and I was plotting ways to remove my lady lumps to wedge myself out from under the bed. Just when I could not take any more I hear my sister’s cackle and what I am sure to be the flash of a camera! She made sure to get a few more of those also! Thanks Ash-Wee!!!!! Thank goodness she arrived. I had become so close with this one dust bunny that we were discussing matching tattoos.
I am free!!!
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